There may be some 'gruesome' references in here, so I apologise now.
I fell pregnant very quickly, well instant really as Cameron was conceived the first day I came off the pill. I came off the pill for two reasons 1) To conceive 2) The pill was reacting with my endometriosis and making me bleed constantly. I found out in late October 2009 when I went to the Dr's with chronic stomach pain, thinking I had some sort of stomach bug. Turns out I was pregnant. But because I was in so much pain, she wanted me to go up the hospital to make sure it wasn't an ectopic pregnancy.
This was the first drama of many to come. I needed to get up the hospital as soon as possible, I was on my own cause Matt was still in bed at home. I honestly just thought it was a stomach bug and I had done 3 pregnancy tests in the last 2 weeks and all came up negative. I was over the moon I was pregnant but scared that it was be ectopic. I remember leaving the Dr's in tears. I couldn't get through to Matt, so rang my Mum's work, dragging her out of her training course so she could take me to the hospital. Got on the bus, still ringing Matt, angry that I couldn't get through to him. All these emotions running through my head.
Finally got home, woke Matt up by telling him he had to get up because I was pregnant. And do you know what he replied half asleep? 'No you're not'........ Yeah thanks for that. Look back and laugh at it now, I think I did laugh at it at the time. I think my next response was 'Are you sure?' When he finally woke up properly we waited for my Mum to come and get us and take us up the hospital.
Only had to wait up the hospital for around 20 minutes before I was seen. I went into the room on my own. My choice, It seemed like the right thing at the time, although looking back, I'm not sure why I didnt let Matt in with me.
The next bit I did not like. The wand! Anyone woman who has had it will know its not a nice contraption to have.
I was told by the consultant that the pregnancy was not ectopic (Thank God) but was so early on into the pregnancy I would have to come back in 3 weeks for another scan. I still have that paperwork somewhere.
So I went home that day very happy, knowing I was pregnant and the pain I had experienced was in fact the baby implanting in the womb (If thats the correct term) My Mum was over the moon, so over the moon, she made me spend my last bit of money (Until I got paid) on a pregnancy test just so she could see it. It was one of those clear blue digital things which told you how far along you were. Mine said 2-3 weeks.
3 weeks went by so slowly but eventually the day came for the scan. I cant remember if this was the wand again or a normal scan but there he was my beautiful little boy on the screen, with a very strong heart beat. They did measurements and worked out I was 7 weeks which gave me a due date of 3rd July. (The exact same due date of Matt's daughter from a previous relationship)
Soon after, the pregnancy hormones kicked in bringing the sickness. I was very lucky with it, I wasn't actually sick, just feeling sick. This lasted until I was 12 weeks then just suddenly disappeared. The thing that really got me, was I couldn't eat anything I could smell cooking. This lasted throughout my whole pregnancy. It just put me off and made me wretch. The only thing I could really stomach was cheesy chips from the local takeaway. (They made an absolute fortune out of me when I was pregnant) This later became one of my cravings along with salt and vinegar crisps dipped in marmite. Another thing that hit me was indigestion and heartburn. All the time I had it. I lived on Gaviscon throughout my pregnancy.
My next scan was due on the 16th December but I didn't go to it, mainly because me and Matt had fallen out and split up. We got back together just before Christmas and went for the scan in January when I was 16 weeks.
Cameron was developing perfectly fine and his heartbeat was strong. We got our first set of photos and I couldn't stop looking at them.
At 17 weeks I first felt Cameron move inside me. I was walking at the time, and it was like someone had jabbed me, but from the inside. It was the most amazing feeling ever.
From then Cameron would have a routine for a few weeks where he would start being active inside me from 6pm. 6pm on the dot every night he would start kicking. There would be some days when he wouldn't kick at all, I remember we got really worried one time and was about to phone the hospital and then he would randomly start kicking. I used to love watching Cameron move inside my belly.
At 20 weeks we got to go back for another scan. I was so excited to see Cameron again, he was growing perfectly well. We also found out he was going to be a boy.
At 28 weeks I had my first Anti-D injection. Wow looking back on that, the pain of that syrup liquid going into your thigh was worse than giving birth itself.
At 30 weeks. Disaster struck. I was at home alone when I started getting what I thought was bad period pains. They were getting worse and worse, so I rang my friend who took me up the hospital. Turns out I was in premature labour and they needed to give me an injection to mature Cameron's lungs and lots of tablets to slow and hopefully stop the labour. I was admitted into hospital and Matt stayed by my side that night. The next day the labour had completely stopped, but they wanted to keep me in. I was so tired, I just wanted to be in my own bed. So I made the decision to discharge myself. I had to rest all the time after that, I couldnt walk far distances and I had to just sit there whilst family members helped Matt to move us into a new home.
At 35 weeks, another complication. The midwife noticed my bump wasn't getting any bigger. I was measuring 2 weeks behind. Instead of re-assuring me she instantly blamed it on my smoking and the stress. I instantly burst out crying. I had cut down smoking a lot since being pregnant. That was my choice. But the stress? I could hardly be the blame for that... being made redundant, premature labour, getting evicted, moving house. That is a lot for one person to deal with let alone one who is pregnant. I left in tears. I was meant to be doing my birth plan that day. And little to my knowledge I wouldn't get to do one.
The midwife had arranged for a scan for me at the hospital at 37 weeks. The consultant said Cameron was fine, just small. He also said that if I hadn't gone into labour the following week he would admit me and induce me. I remember Matt saying as we left that I wouldn't get to full term. How right was he.
The next day the back ache began, I could hardly walk, I was in that much pain. People on facebook joked that it was the start of my labour. My Mum even said she thought it was because all her labours had started in her back. 2 days later, I started to get pain, I thought I just needed to go to the toilet because of my iron tablets. But the pain got worse and I suddenly said to Matt that we needed to go to the hospital.
We had to get a taxi there as had no other transport and I had to hide my contractions as other wise the taxi wouldn't have taken us.
Went into the delivery suite and was told I was in early labour and they were going to send me home. They asked me if I wanted an internal examination first and I said yes. Oh how glad I am I said yes. I was already 5cm dilated. Think that shocked the midwife! I remember then ringing my Mum in tears telling her I was in labour and that it hurt. The next thing I know, Matt wanders off to tell the midwife I have had a show. They had to get me into the delivery room quick. I had to waddle, half naked, with a sheet covering my lady parts into a room. They then hooked me up on gas and air. Didn't like it at first, did not like the way it made me feel, like I wasn't in control. But it came in useful for the contractions as I was in pain but I was too high to care! I remember I kept saying to the midwives that it felt like I needed a poo. The pressure was unbearable. I got 3 hours in and then couldn't take it no more and begged for an epidural. They put a line in my hand, of what I am not sure, but I remember dropping my gas and air, reaching to pick it up and knocking the line out, splattering everyone around me with blood. I laughed at the time, blame the gas and air.
It took like what felt like forever to get the epidural in, it took a midwife and Matt to hold me still cause of the pain, its nearly impossible to do when you have a baby's head pressing down on your private parts trying to get out. As soon as they had finished, they examined me and popped my waters for me along with relieving my bladder. So yes technically I am one of those people who wet themselves during labour, but I didn't poo, which I am so glad of. The next thing I know, I'm screaming at them that I need to push!
And Push I Did. At 4.20am on Saturday 12th June 2010, my little boy, my Cameron was born, weighing 5lbs 7.5oz
I will never forget that first time I held him in my arms. So tiny but yet so perfect. I instantly fell in love. He was crying and as soon as Matt spoke to him he stopped and went back to sleep.
I gave Cameron to Matt and looked towards the end of the bed. There was a lady examining my privates. I asked Matt what she was stitching me back up. Apparently they had asked my permission to cut me, but I couldn't remember.
They were also concerned about my placenta, because it came out really white. They said it would need to be sent off for testing. I was worried I had cancer at the time.
They decided they would need to keep Cameron in for a bit because he was so little and also his temperature was low. He was in an incubator for the first 12 hours and then was allowed out. He fed every 3 hours but was only drinking 20mls.
The first night was easy with him. The second wasn't. He wouldn't go to sleep. I was so exhausted and really needed a fag. I begged the nurse to hold him while I went and composed myself. I wanted to be at home, I felt alone and useless. The next day I was so low and emotional I decided that seen as Cameron was doing well I wanted to go home. The consultant came over and checked Cameron out. She agreed that we could go. I was so so happy. I went outside to tell everyone not to bother coming to see me as I was going home. When I went back up to the ward, the consultant was talking to Matt and Matt said that she had something to tell me. The consultant told me she had changed her mind and would not be discharging us. I went mad and broke down into tears. I wanted to self discharge but was worried that I was being selfish and what if something happened to Cameron. After talking to my Mum on the phone and Matt, I decided I would do it and if at any moment I thought that Cameron was not right I would bring him back in. I also told them that my midwife was not welcome at my house and I wanted someone else after the fiasco I had with worrying me so much over my bump size.
I was so glad to get home, so glad to have my family all under one roof. The next day a lovely midwife came and Cameron had made good progress and had put on 60g so we didn't need to go back into hospital.
The test results came back from my placenta and turns out I had Calcification of the placenta and would need to be monitored closely in my next pregnancy. Basically this means, my placenta had aged too quickly and had basically died, leaving Cameron without anything really. I am really lucky he is here today. I believe (although I haven't had it confirmed) that my placenta died around the 30 week mark and that is why Cameron tried to come early. Looking back I am annoyed that they didn't do any further investigation as to why I went into premature labour. I also wonder if Cameron has this speech delay and possible autism because he was deprived in my womb for so long.
So there we go, there is my birth story.
Used for Magic Moments 22/04/2013
Soon after, the pregnancy hormones kicked in bringing the sickness. I was very lucky with it, I wasn't actually sick, just feeling sick. This lasted until I was 12 weeks then just suddenly disappeared. The thing that really got me, was I couldn't eat anything I could smell cooking. This lasted throughout my whole pregnancy. It just put me off and made me wretch. The only thing I could really stomach was cheesy chips from the local takeaway. (They made an absolute fortune out of me when I was pregnant) This later became one of my cravings along with salt and vinegar crisps dipped in marmite. Another thing that hit me was indigestion and heartburn. All the time I had it. I lived on Gaviscon throughout my pregnancy.
My next scan was due on the 16th December but I didn't go to it, mainly because me and Matt had fallen out and split up. We got back together just before Christmas and went for the scan in January when I was 16 weeks.
Cameron was developing perfectly fine and his heartbeat was strong. We got our first set of photos and I couldn't stop looking at them.
At 17 weeks I first felt Cameron move inside me. I was walking at the time, and it was like someone had jabbed me, but from the inside. It was the most amazing feeling ever.
From then Cameron would have a routine for a few weeks where he would start being active inside me from 6pm. 6pm on the dot every night he would start kicking. There would be some days when he wouldn't kick at all, I remember we got really worried one time and was about to phone the hospital and then he would randomly start kicking. I used to love watching Cameron move inside my belly.
At 20 weeks we got to go back for another scan. I was so excited to see Cameron again, he was growing perfectly well. We also found out he was going to be a boy.
At 28 weeks I had my first Anti-D injection. Wow looking back on that, the pain of that syrup liquid going into your thigh was worse than giving birth itself.
At 30 weeks. Disaster struck. I was at home alone when I started getting what I thought was bad period pains. They were getting worse and worse, so I rang my friend who took me up the hospital. Turns out I was in premature labour and they needed to give me an injection to mature Cameron's lungs and lots of tablets to slow and hopefully stop the labour. I was admitted into hospital and Matt stayed by my side that night. The next day the labour had completely stopped, but they wanted to keep me in. I was so tired, I just wanted to be in my own bed. So I made the decision to discharge myself. I had to rest all the time after that, I couldnt walk far distances and I had to just sit there whilst family members helped Matt to move us into a new home.
At 35 weeks, another complication. The midwife noticed my bump wasn't getting any bigger. I was measuring 2 weeks behind. Instead of re-assuring me she instantly blamed it on my smoking and the stress. I instantly burst out crying. I had cut down smoking a lot since being pregnant. That was my choice. But the stress? I could hardly be the blame for that... being made redundant, premature labour, getting evicted, moving house. That is a lot for one person to deal with let alone one who is pregnant. I left in tears. I was meant to be doing my birth plan that day. And little to my knowledge I wouldn't get to do one.
The midwife had arranged for a scan for me at the hospital at 37 weeks. The consultant said Cameron was fine, just small. He also said that if I hadn't gone into labour the following week he would admit me and induce me. I remember Matt saying as we left that I wouldn't get to full term. How right was he.
The next day the back ache began, I could hardly walk, I was in that much pain. People on facebook joked that it was the start of my labour. My Mum even said she thought it was because all her labours had started in her back. 2 days later, I started to get pain, I thought I just needed to go to the toilet because of my iron tablets. But the pain got worse and I suddenly said to Matt that we needed to go to the hospital.
We had to get a taxi there as had no other transport and I had to hide my contractions as other wise the taxi wouldn't have taken us.
Went into the delivery suite and was told I was in early labour and they were going to send me home. They asked me if I wanted an internal examination first and I said yes. Oh how glad I am I said yes. I was already 5cm dilated. Think that shocked the midwife! I remember then ringing my Mum in tears telling her I was in labour and that it hurt. The next thing I know, Matt wanders off to tell the midwife I have had a show. They had to get me into the delivery room quick. I had to waddle, half naked, with a sheet covering my lady parts into a room. They then hooked me up on gas and air. Didn't like it at first, did not like the way it made me feel, like I wasn't in control. But it came in useful for the contractions as I was in pain but I was too high to care! I remember I kept saying to the midwives that it felt like I needed a poo. The pressure was unbearable. I got 3 hours in and then couldn't take it no more and begged for an epidural. They put a line in my hand, of what I am not sure, but I remember dropping my gas and air, reaching to pick it up and knocking the line out, splattering everyone around me with blood. I laughed at the time, blame the gas and air.
It took like what felt like forever to get the epidural in, it took a midwife and Matt to hold me still cause of the pain, its nearly impossible to do when you have a baby's head pressing down on your private parts trying to get out. As soon as they had finished, they examined me and popped my waters for me along with relieving my bladder. So yes technically I am one of those people who wet themselves during labour, but I didn't poo, which I am so glad of. The next thing I know, I'm screaming at them that I need to push!
And Push I Did. At 4.20am on Saturday 12th June 2010, my little boy, my Cameron was born, weighing 5lbs 7.5oz
 |
| Cameron - 4 Minutes old :-) |
I will never forget that first time I held him in my arms. So tiny but yet so perfect. I instantly fell in love. He was crying and as soon as Matt spoke to him he stopped and went back to sleep.
I gave Cameron to Matt and looked towards the end of the bed. There was a lady examining my privates. I asked Matt what she was stitching me back up. Apparently they had asked my permission to cut me, but I couldn't remember.
They were also concerned about my placenta, because it came out really white. They said it would need to be sent off for testing. I was worried I had cancer at the time.
They decided they would need to keep Cameron in for a bit because he was so little and also his temperature was low. He was in an incubator for the first 12 hours and then was allowed out. He fed every 3 hours but was only drinking 20mls.
The first night was easy with him. The second wasn't. He wouldn't go to sleep. I was so exhausted and really needed a fag. I begged the nurse to hold him while I went and composed myself. I wanted to be at home, I felt alone and useless. The next day I was so low and emotional I decided that seen as Cameron was doing well I wanted to go home. The consultant came over and checked Cameron out. She agreed that we could go. I was so so happy. I went outside to tell everyone not to bother coming to see me as I was going home. When I went back up to the ward, the consultant was talking to Matt and Matt said that she had something to tell me. The consultant told me she had changed her mind and would not be discharging us. I went mad and broke down into tears. I wanted to self discharge but was worried that I was being selfish and what if something happened to Cameron. After talking to my Mum on the phone and Matt, I decided I would do it and if at any moment I thought that Cameron was not right I would bring him back in. I also told them that my midwife was not welcome at my house and I wanted someone else after the fiasco I had with worrying me so much over my bump size.
I was so glad to get home, so glad to have my family all under one roof. The next day a lovely midwife came and Cameron had made good progress and had put on 60g so we didn't need to go back into hospital.
The test results came back from my placenta and turns out I had Calcification of the placenta and would need to be monitored closely in my next pregnancy. Basically this means, my placenta had aged too quickly and had basically died, leaving Cameron without anything really. I am really lucky he is here today. I believe (although I haven't had it confirmed) that my placenta died around the 30 week mark and that is why Cameron tried to come early. Looking back I am annoyed that they didn't do any further investigation as to why I went into premature labour. I also wonder if Cameron has this speech delay and possible autism because he was deprived in my womb for so long.
So there we go, there is my birth story.
Used for Magic Moments 22/04/2013
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